Saturday, 17 March 2012

Day 163 ... well, not really.

Dear readers,

it has been a long time. Too long, in fact, and I'm sorry for that. The reason I didn't post again earlier is quite simple: I'm a bit ashamed because I haven't worn my school uniform very much lately....maybe a third of the time.

It's strange. For most of my life - ever since I saw that lovely schoolgirl pictured in one of my school books - I wanted to wear a school uniform regulary. And now that I have the chance to do it, I don't. At least not often. I thought about this a lot lately and I think I have an explanation. I don't want to crossdress or be a women/girl all the time. In a perfect fantasy world I could decide again every day whether I'd want to be a man or a women. Today I'd be the women with the long flowing hear and the cute dress, and tomorrow I'd be the guy with the smart business suit and the beard (yeah, beards are cool).

Back when I started my project I was just out of my first long-term relationship. I was devastated (well, I'm still devastated) and maybe somehow I longed for my feminine side even more than usual. So it was great thrill to be wearing the pleated skirt for the first time. But gradually my male side gained control again, so most of the time I don't change into my school uniform when I get home but rather stay in whatever I wore for the day and just sit in front of the telly or computer and do ... nothing. Call it a quarter-life-crisis.

I think it would help a lot if I had a play partner who "forces" me to wear my uniform everyday. Or even better: a girlfriend who in turn dresses as a school boy. Now that would be fun. :) But as it is now, I just can't bring myself to wear my uniform everyday - as much as I can't bring myself to do anything at all in my life lately.

Oh well. I hope it gets better soon. I keep you updated. Promised!

Lots of love to all who still read this blog,
Cornelia

4 comments:

  1. You have been very naughty not wearing your uniform when you should have been wearing it.

    Report to the headmistresses office next Saturday at 9am in full school uniform for a 3 hour Saturday detention.

    You will write out 1000 lines in detention "I must wear my school uniform at all times"

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  2. That sounds like a fun idea (well, at least now ... ). Let's see if I can get hold of a fountain pen. No ballpoint pens in school, remember? ;-)

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  3. even if this occured some months ago: what happened at your detention weekend? lines successful written?

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  4. Of course the lines have been written. You can read about it here: http://schooluniformproject365.blogspot.com/2012/03/day-170-i-must-wear-my-school-uniform.html

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