More writing for Miss Melanie

Dear readers,

with the week being over I want to keep you up to date on my writing assignments. I'll do that in reverse order because the first one was quite interesting, on an emotional level.

So yesterday I had to write "Damit ich morgen einen Tag frei bekomme, darf ich heute diese Zeilen für Miss Melanie schreiben." ("To have a free day tomorrow, I get to write these lines for Miss Melanie today.") 250 times.

 

 

 

Not much to say about this. Simple, straightforward lines.

Now, on first sight the lines that I had to write on Thursday were pretty much the same. The task was to write "Ich darf meinen Abend damit verbringen, diese Zeilen für Miss Melanie zu schreiben." ("I'm allowed to spend my evening writing these lines for Miss Melanie") 250 times.

 

 

 

As I said, pretty much the same. However the big difference was timing. On Thursday I came home from work at around 8 PM after a long work day (where I already did some writing). So when I started this assignment my hand did hurt already. That's really not good if it already starts after a few lines (not good for me, but Miss Melanie seemed delighted about that fact when I told her afterwards).

The thing is, my usual bed time is around 11 PM if I have to go to work the next day. I started this task at around 8:20 and finished it at about 11:30. So my entire free time on that day was taken away from me, and then some! This really put me into an emotional roller coaster. I had the most insane "afterglow" after I finished this task, that made it impossible to go to bed because my head was filled with thoughts and emotions that I can't even begin to write down because I can't really put them into words.

-Cornelia

Spending (most of) the weekend writing

Dear readers,

again I had the pleasure(!?) of writing for the lovely Miss Melanie this weekend.

On Friday evening she contacted me via IM out of the blue and just told me to write "Es ist mir eine große Freude, diese fünfhundert Zeilen übers Wochenende für Miss Melanie schreiben zu dürfen." (translation: "It is a great pleasure for me to be allowed to write these five-hundred lines over the weekend for Miss Melanie"). 500 times, obviously. Deadline was Sunday evening.

So I wrote the first 100 lines on Friday evening, I woke up early on Saturday and decided to start writing (at 7:30). I somehow thought that the whole task would require 8 hours of writing. And I wanted to do it all on Saturday to have a free day on Sunday. Taking into account that I already wrote 100 lines I thought I'd be finished early in the afternoon. I'm not sure what I made me think that because in the end it took me until 18:00 to finish the 500 lines, encompassing 25 pages.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

After I finished that I actually really enjoyed the evening and was looking forward to another (well, this time really) free day on Sunday. I guess sometimes you only appreciate something if you have less of it. 

I talked about this with Miss Melanie on Sunday and she kinda agreed. I cheekinly said that she should try writing herself.

Well, that got me another set of lines. "Wenn ich frech bin, kürzt Miss Melanie mir sofort empfindlich meine Freizeit." (translation: "When I'm being cheeky, Miss Melanie instantly shortens my free time noticeably.") 250 times. 

 

 

 

So that were ~15 hours of writing this weekend. My hand hurts, and you know things are bad when a school uniform enthusiast wants to get out of the school uniform because it feels so uncomfortable.

There are obviously better ways to spend the weekend. And I'm sure Miss Melanie did those things. ;-) 

For me, this was very hard and I hope for a bit of rest now, but ultimately I'm satisfied that I managed to complete the tasks.

What's next? Tune in next week. Same Bat-time. Same Bat-channel.

-Cornelia

Writing squares

Dear readers,

this Wednesday Miss Melanie ordered me to write squares for the first time. I've heard of the word in the Written Punishment Group but I never saw them or did them myself. The task was to fill the page with increasing numbers beginning at 1, 2, 3, ... up until 1605 (and a half).

I must say that this task is quite different from writing lines. For one thing, you can't let your mind wander off. When writing (short) lines there comes a point where you can switch to auto-pilot (that is, until you make a mistake and curse yourself for not paying attention). However you have to pay full attention when writing squares the entire time. Because if you don't, the second difference causes quite an impact.

If you do a mistake while writing lines at the end of the page, and therefore have to start the page again, you lose maybe 15-20 minutes of work. If you make that mistake at the end of the squares page, you lose 2 full hours of work.

So it's really hard mentally. You have to pay full attention all the time and you are much, much longer under pressure to keep up the attention.

-Cornelia

Writing again

Dear readers,

after another long absence I dare to say that I'm back for good. Recently I found myself in sub mode again, and I also tried to break out of my shell, taking my life in my own hands again. It has been a rough ride, and depression pulled me back into that dark pit more than once but I think I am finally climbing out of it.

On Saturday I had a chat with the charming Miss Melanie. I told her about my struggles; that I found it difficult to accept my sub side and that I especially struggled accepting that my kinks involved "wasting" my time writing - while I felt that I waste my life in general. She said that I should do what makes me happy, and I agree with that. It does make me happy (well, you know, until I actually have to start writing ;-) ), so I decided to not longer give in to those dark thoughts in my head. Screw them. I'm going to do this.

To go one step further, Miss Melanie and I agreed that she can set me written tasks whenever she likes to (for now, this agreement lasts for a trial period of 2 months). While I do enjoy the "Written Punishments" group on Yahoo (and would recommend it to anyone getting into the lifestyle) there is always one thing that bothered me, which is that the subs ask the doms to set them tasks. Of course, what type and length of task they are being set is not the sub's decision. However, they do always have the opportunity to escape punishment by simply not asking for it. The WP group semi-counters this with the "class" construct, but even there it's possible to avoid being set any assignment. I was always a bit curious about power exchange stuff, where you really have to do something whether you want it or not. I think this is a good opportunity to try this out.

So let's see what Miss Melanie has in store for me in the next few weeks. I suppose I will update this blog more often now (if her assignments leave time for that ;-) ) She set me the first assignment on Saturday, a short one since I haven't written in a long time. I had to write "Ich freue mich, dass ich diese Zeilen nach fast einem Jahr wieder für Miss Melanie schreiben darf" (translation: "I'm happy to write these lines after almost a year again for Miss Melanie") 175 times.

  

  

 

  

I started to sweat quite a bit in the beginning. Firstly, I didn't want to make any mistakes (and therefore have to start a page again); luckily I got more at ease as I continued writing. Secondly, it really was quite hot and I was wearing my full uniform (gymslip, long-sleeved blouse, tie, blazer, ...). This was actually one of the rare times where I wanted to get out of my uniform. Alas, Miss Melanie specifically ordered me to wear my full uniform while writing so I had to suffer through it. It was sweet pain, though. :-)
After about 3 hours I finished writing. My hand hurt (now this was real pain) but I felt some strange form of satisfaction.

I'm looking forward to being under strict control. At least I think I do. Again, just like when I started this blog about wearing my uniform, fantasy and reality are two very different animals, and there's a good chance I won't like it. Hence the trial period.

We'll see what the future brings.

Oh by the way ... I think this blog needs a new title since it's obviously going to be much more about writing than school uniforms in the future. How about "uniformed writing"? Or something like that. I'm not really good at this.

-Cornelia