after another long absence I dare to say that I'm back for good. Recently I found myself in sub mode again, and I also tried to break out of my shell, taking my life in my own hands again. It has been a rough ride, and depression pulled me back into that dark pit more than once but I think I am finally climbing out of it.
On Saturday I had a chat with the charming Miss Melanie. I told her about my struggles; that I found it difficult to accept my sub side and that I especially struggled accepting that my kinks involved "wasting" my time writing - while I felt that I waste my life in general. She said that I should do what makes me happy, and I agree with that. It does make me happy (well, you know, until I actually have to start writing ;-) ), so I decided to not longer give in to those dark thoughts in my head. Screw them. I'm going to do this.
To go one step further, Miss Melanie and I agreed that she can set me written tasks whenever she likes to (for now, this agreement lasts for a trial period of 2 months). While I do enjoy the "Written Punishments" group on Yahoo (and would recommend it to anyone getting into the lifestyle) there is always one thing that bothered me, which is that the subs ask the doms to set them tasks. Of course, what type and length of task they are being set is not the sub's decision. However, they do always have the opportunity to escape punishment by simply not asking for it. The WP group semi-counters this with the "class" construct, but even there it's possible to avoid being set any assignment. I was always a bit curious about power exchange stuff, where you really have to do something whether you want it or not. I think this is a good opportunity to try this out.
So let's see what Miss Melanie has in store for me in the next few weeks. I suppose I will update this blog more often now (if her assignments leave time for that ;-) ) She set me the first assignment on Saturday, a short one since I haven't written in a long time. I had to write "Ich freue mich, dass ich diese Zeilen nach fast einem Jahr wieder für Miss Melanie schreiben darf" (translation: "I'm happy to write these lines after almost a year again for Miss Melanie") 175 times.
I started to sweat quite a bit in the beginning. Firstly, I didn't want to make any mistakes (and therefore have to start a page again); luckily I got more at ease as I continued writing. Secondly, it really was quite hot and I was wearing my full uniform (gymslip, long-sleeved blouse, tie, blazer, ...). This was actually one of the rare times where I wanted to get out of my uniform. Alas, Miss Melanie specifically ordered me to wear my full uniform while writing so I had to suffer through it. It was sweet pain, though. :-)
After about 3 hours I finished writing. My hand hurt (now this was real pain) but I felt some strange form of satisfaction.
I'm looking forward to being under strict control. At least I think I do. Again, just like when I started this blog about wearing my uniform, fantasy and reality are two very different animals, and there's a good chance I won't like it. Hence the trial period.
We'll see what the future brings.
Oh by the way ... I think this blog needs a new title since it's obviously going to be much more about writing than school uniforms in the future. How about "uniformed writing"? Or something like that. I'm not really good at this.
-Cornelia
Hi Cornelia,
ReplyDeleteIts nice to see a update again on your blog :)
I too like you have been sat writting lines while wearing my full school uniform this past week. I also felt the same thing as you, that at times i was wasting my time writing when i could be doing other things perhaps the same can also be said when i was at school i would have had to write them or else receive more punishment maybe even a lunch detention. I want the lines but once i get them i don't want to write but i know i still have to do the assignment. Sometimes i get lines without even asking for them and i find these lines the hardest to do.
At least when i do get lines to write i have a set time to finish them in and can undertake them in my own time. It would be a whole lot worse if i had to write them in detention, especially a 3 hour Saturday detention in full school uniform something i never had but i know a few naughty girls who did receive one, I just hope my headmistress doesn't decide to ever give me one.
You maybe could call the blog, Writting lines in school uniform.
Kelly
Hello schoolgirls
ReplyDeleteI am sure you would like be out the class the weekeends but a hard and bored punishment is perfect to a better behaivour in the future
Have you a perfect behaivour after a weekend detention cornelia and kelly?
A name to the blog "Punished as schoolgirl"
Miss Ines
dear Miss Ines!
ReplyDeletei can only assure that a full weekend detention leads to much better behaviour in the future. have experienced this a few times in different scenarios.
but its a special fun for me too...