Separating the sane from the psychotic. Or: a memorable task.

Dear readers,

those of you who follow my blog know that I have written some larger tasks in the past, most notably the 1000 lines for Senorita Sanchez at the beginning of this year. Back then I said that I never want to do that again. And here I am, venturing into those areas again ...

I must be insane.

Last week was rather exhausting at work. On Thursday evening I made myself comfortable on the couch, grabbed a comic graphic novel and tried to relax. The book was "Batman: The Killing Joke". The book cover says:

One bad day. According to the grinning engine of madness and mayhem known as The Joker, that's all that separates the sane from the psychotic. [...]

 Was I about to have a bad day?

As per my agreement with Miss Melanie I always keep the Yahoo Messenger running when I'm at home so that she knows when I'm there (in addition to her knowing my schedule).

So I was just reading the first few pages when I heard a message notification. Without looking I knew that it was a message from Miss Melanie. I somehow knew.

Ich möchte von dir bis Sonntag 750 Zeilen "Ich darf diese Zeilen schreiben, während Miss Melanie ein schönes, verlängertes Wochenende in Paris verbringt." (Translation: I want you to write 750 times until Sunday "I may write these lines while Miss Melanie spends a nice extended weekend in Paris.")

That's it. No "hello", no nothing. Just the plain order to write those lines. I was speechless. I couldn't even type a proper reply at first. Again, I somehow knew in advance that she would set me a weekend task because I told her that I had no plans for the weekend. But still, I was awe-stricken by the scope. And the content.

Because that's pretty much why I like written punishments. The sub has to write for hours and hours while the domme is enjoying her time. And traveling to another city, especially Paris, is about as enjoyable as it gets.

And the sentence just hammered this home, 750 times.

My imagination went on overdrive - in that moment and throughout the next days - imagining what Miss Melanie could be doing right now. Shopping perhaps (though .. for many woman it's not that much fun to find some fitting clothes ... but hey, it's a fantasy, right?), or dining at a posh french restaurant. Or one of those bistros? Or doing some sightseeing? The possibilities, her possibilities were endless.

On the other hand: mine? Not so much. I was sitting on my wooden chair, in the corner of the room, with a pen in my aching hand and nothing to look forward to than working through this boring, tedious task over the next few days. To top that off, I felt rather uncomfortable in my school uniform. Either it was too cold so that my legs were cold or, once I turned up the radiator, it got so warm that it got too warm under my wool blazer. I really love-hate my school uniform at the moment.

Now you may think: Miss Melanie is in Paris, so you could have safely taken off your blazer. But no, I'm an exemplary sub and do as I'm told even when I'm not supervised...

... hehe, yeah, that was a joke, But believe it or not, in this particular case it's true.

Plus, at least for a part of my task I was supervised via webcam. I introduced my dear friend in the last post, let's call her "Fräulein S." for now. We're both switchers and she has written a rather extensive task for me already, so I assume that she enjoyed seeing me writing lines for a change. She also was aware of my uniform rules and even noted that I put on the blazer only at the very last minute before beginning to write. I felt safely controlled and taken care of, in a strange way.

Thursday evening
I received Miss Melanie's task at around 8 pm and started writing at around 8:45 or something like that.

 

 

Writing those first 100 lines on Thursday took me almost exactly 2 hours. So I knew that I would need at least another 13 hours to complete the task, if I could maintain this writing speed.

Friday afternoon/evening
I began writing after work at around 4:30 pm. Still exhausted from my work week (and being rather distracted by Fräulein S.' messages on WhatsApp ;-)) I wrote much slower than the day before.

On the positive side, I kinda felt good because I managed to make my tie knot in a way that the grey stripe connected perfectly.

 

 

 

 

 

At this point it was 9:45 and I was ready to call it a day. However, Fräulein S. insisted that I complete half of my 750 lines on this day and send her a photo as proof - and then went to bed.  So here I was, having to write another 2 hours on a Friday night while my task-setter had a fun vacation in Paris and my supervisor was sleeping in her comfy bed. Great. Couldn't get better than that. Really. Like ... argh, who am I kidding? It was awful. Good-awful. You know what I mean, don't you?

 

 

Saturday ... pretty much all day
50% done, 50% to go. I didn't get much sleep in the night before because I chose to get up early to watch the Formula 1 Qualifying in Suzuka (one of the best tracks in the calendar - wouldn't want to miss that).
Bad idea.
Baaaaaad idea.

I was tired all day and that doesn't actually help when writing lines, whether you want to believe that or not. Still, I somehow managed to complete the task. Not just because I wanted to get it done, but also because Fräulein S. insisted that I complete it on Saturday - it's in my own best interest, as she said.

Starting at around 9 am it took me until 11 pm to complete the lines. Thanks to my aching hand (and a few other distractions) the second 50% took me much longer than the first 50%. I estimate around 10,5 hours (2 hours more than for the first 50%) of writing, breaks excluded.

But again, I felt super awesome because the stripes on my tie connected perfectly - this time the grey and maroon stripe. It was a small consolation. Very small. Negligible. But on days like this you take whatever you get.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Now, usually I'm rather "euphoric" when I reach the final page. But this time I was nothing but tired. My hand hurt, my neck hurt (from looking downwards all day), my legs were cold again, and I just wanted to finish this task. But I still had to pause twice during those final 10 lines to relax my hand. It was awful.

At least I have a free day today. You really learn to value your free time when it can easily be taken away from you. The order Miss Melanie gave me took her just a few seconds to write - I had to waste 19 hours to complete her task.

So in the end there's the question of why I am doing this, particularly if I wasn't even euphoric when I finished the task. I have no idea, to be honest. Yes, there's the vague desire to please others. But is this really enough?

Perhaps I'm simply not sane, as The Joker suggests.

But I think I had some good days.

-Cornelia

P.S.: And you know what? It actually feels kinda wrong that I don't have to write anymore today even though Miss Melanie is still in Paris. So I guess I'm really not that sane after all. ;-)